


Feelings

by Vaughnrocks



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anger, Angst, Depression, Drabble, Hurt, M/M, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-08-31 19:41:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8591137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vaughnrocks/pseuds/Vaughnrocks
Summary: I never meant to hurt you, I never thought it would get this far. I'm sorry. 
Or:
Sasuke has some issues relating to a dark past and doesn't know how to let himself love, so he runs.





	1. Sasuke's Letter

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, some of you may notice that you've read this before. I ended up changing the title because I added a second chapter.  
> Hope you enjoy. (:

His blond brows pinched together as he frowned. A small huff of breath left him as he looked at me one last time and walked away into the winter’s day. I tried not to see his tears.  


…

  
_I'm sorry_

I don't know how to _feel_.  
I don't know what to _say._  


My feelings are so difficult for me to express, before I met you...I didn't have to express anything, I just had to live. I had no one who would listen, no one who _wanted_ to listen. I think I love you but how can that be when I don't even love myself? _How can that be when I don't even love myself?_  


You're upset and I can't do anything to fix it, because after this it will be better for the both of us if I'm out of the picture.  


_I’m sorry_  


I know you feel that I led you on, I never meant to do it. Just know that you're the only person I've felt safe enough in years to even sit with.  


I'm writing you this letter as a goodbye, I'll be moving again. I don't mean to be weak but you're too strong for me, _too much._ You have such high aspirations. I wouldn't be able to compare. I wouldn't even be _worthy_ enough to breathe your air.  


I'm sorry it has to be this way, and I don't regret meeting you. I only wish that I was stronger so I would be able treat you. Treat you like you've done me. Treat you like you deserve because in a world that's so cold, you're always so warm.  


_I'm sorry_  


I'll be moving to a new city to get a fresh start, I hope I don't hurt you much. Because you're the brightest light in a world full of dark.  


I wish I could stay and tell you that I love you, but love is dangerous, so I feel that it’s something that we shouldn't start. Something that tells me we would be better off _apart._  


Please don’t feel that you’re the reason I’m leaving. I’m not all there and the longer I stay the more I despair because I can’t give you my all. I can barely give you _anything_ at all. Just know that you’ve made an impact on me, I’ll never forget you and everything you’ve done for me. Please know that I’ll _never_ forget you.  


You deserve everything good in the world, everything bright in the world and my darkness would be something that eventually would dull your light. I _never_ want to be responsible for taking that away.  


_I'm sorry._  


Sasuke


	2. Naruto's Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto isn't very happy about Sasuke's letter. So he lets him know with his own.

Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke.

You didn’t leave an address. I’m writing a letter back for no reason at all other than closure I guess. Heh. It’s pretty amazing how quickly I fell in love with you, it took no time at all. I knew that you had demons, we all have demons. You never gave me the opportunity to tell you I loved you. You never gave me the opportunity to show you that I’m not perfect.

I’m not perfect Sasuke. I’m not the sun, I’m not the brightness you think I am. Sasuke. If only you knew how dark my world was sometimes. _If only you knew that I was only bright around you._ You made me feel that way. You made me fall in love with you.

You were so nonchalant about everything, so closed off but I could feel you softening Sasuke. You really think that I couldn’t see that you had a past? You really thought that I _didn’t?_

I wish you would have spoken to me in person before you left. I wish you would have given me that opportunity. But now I can do nothing but write this useless letter to you. Why didn’t you at least leave me an address or a PO box? I never even got your cell phone number. I never needed it. Come to think of it... I don’t even know if you had a cell phone. I never saw you use one.  


The more I write this letter the more I realize that I don't think I really knew you at all Sasuke. I don’t know you Sasuke, but I _know_ you. You were the same as me. If only you knew that my life has never been sunshine and rainbows. If only you knew that you were my light Sasuke. If only you realized that I was only the sun for you. _If only you realized that I was only bright around you._ I don’t think you realize how bright the moon is Sasuke. In the night, there is always the moon, a bright, bright moon. The moon comes in various colors, shapes and sizes and that’s you to me! You didn’t speak much but when you did, I was always so awestruck. You were so smart, so intelligent. Talented enough to get your thoughts across in only a few words. I don’t think you realized how much I admired that, I don’t think you realized how much I admired you.  


Sasuke, you shouldn’t be afraid of love. Sasuke, I wish you weren’t so afraid of love. I wish you were in front of me so I could talk to you instead of writing this stupid letter. I feel like I didn’t even write this much in school. I wish that I could tell you that there’s no reason for you not to love yourself.  


I’m not happy Sasuke. I know this letter is all over the place but it’s just how I feel. You wrote that you didn’t know how to feel, that you didn’t know what to say… but I think you’re a coward for not facing me man to man. You say you love me, then you do this. Is this your version of love, Sasuke? You said you were sorry. You said it would be better for both of us if you were gone. I think it’s a cop out Sasuke. For someone who doesn’t know how they feel you sure felt a lot… you sure wrote a lot. So, if you felt so strongly for me why wouldn’t you stay. WHY WOULDN'T YOU TRY! Sasuke you didn’t even try to understand how you felt, you didn’t even try to understand me! ~~You said you didn’t mean to lead me on, but I think you're lying.~~  


You said that you’d never forget me, that you didn’t want to dull my light. By leaving you’ve already extinguished it Sasuke. I have no more light. My light is gone. I’m now nothing.  


I guess you never realized that I never talked about my personal life Sasuke. We saw each other every day. Every day we saw each other and I never foresaw you leaving. I can’t accept your apologies because Sasuke, you never gave us a chance. _You never gave us a chance._  


I’m alone again. We’re both alone again. But you don’t know that and you won’t know that because you’re gone. There’s no point in writing anymore of this down. But my fingers won’t let my put the pencil down. The more I write the more I feel connected to you even though I’m sad. Even though I’m angry. Even though my heart throbs and my eyes water.  
I miss you, you haven’t even been gone a week, but I miss you. _I miss you. I love you._  


__

_I love you._

  


…

  


The letter is written out and sealed in an envelope. A lone blond haired man places the letter on the doorstep beside the mat. He sighs deeply and frowns at the door then at the letter. A series of hard knocks beat at the door, he waits for five minutes before he gives up, shakes his head and begins to walk home.  


…

  


“I don’t know what I’ll do now. I guess I’ll take a note from your book and just live.” Naruto mutters to himself.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My boy isn't very happy with Sasuke, quite frankly I don't blame him.
> 
> I wanted to leave this story open to interpretation. Pretty much the only thing that you can gain from this is that that they both have age on them, and one of them is wealthy enough to move when he wants. Oh, and that they both have feelings for one another.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all, thanks for reading! Let me know what you all think. This is kinda of my first real attempt at a serious writing style. I'm more known for writing crack on FFnet.
> 
> Also! A bit of inspiration came from this song: I Giorni by Ludovico Einaudi


End file.
